Reading Time: 6 minutes Is that a crack in the ceiling? Damn, I forgot milk. What the hell did Karen from HR mean when she said I can’t pull off a jumpsuit?! Loud thoughts that distract us whilst having sex are the worst. In a study of 40 years of research on women with …
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Laura
How to put in sexual boundaries when you don’t know what yours are and it feels terrifying to ask for what you want
Reading Time: 4 minutes A MAJOR part of my journey to find my sex drive was dealing with resentment. There’s a post all about it here, but safe to say my partner used to piss me off all the time and I’d simmer away in the background spending time coming up with mad plots …
Do you give away your power during sex? Here’s how to get it back
Reading Time: 6 minutes “Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.” – Oscar Wilde When you’ve lost your libido, sex can feel a completely disempowering experience. Far from the sexually empowered femme fatales we see in films, flicking their hair and calling the shots, instead we’re scurrying to bed …
Try a “pussy massage” when you want to connect but don’t feel like sex….
Reading Time: 2 minutes Layla Martin, an acclaimed sexuality coach and tantra expert, calls the pussy massage a way to experience “exquisite pleasure and healing”. Before you go to running to the hills at the sound of tantra and pussies and voodoo, give this particular exercise a chance because it can do wonders for …
#9 unconventional ways to mix things up in bed if you’re a bit bored
Reading Time: 5 minutes If you’ve been having sex with the same person for a while and its become a bit samey, our desire for sex can plummet. It’s often not that our desire for sex has gone, but it’s just the desire to have sex with the same person over and over that’s …
Cheat your way to a great sex drive by scheduling in time to *think* about sex
Reading Time: 3 minutes A low libido often means that we can almost completely stop thinking about sex (as well as experience a diminished desire to have it!). And for many of us, these thoughts aren’t suddenly going to fall from the sky, or turn up behind the sofa along with some loose change and …
#8 tips to rewire your mind and feel sexually alive again
Reading Time: 3 minutes Esther Perel tells us sex isn’t something you do- it’s a place you go. She calls the ability to do this eroticism. This is the major difference between us and animals- that we can experience the erotic, which is “sexuality transformed by the human imagination”. Our minds therefore create the experience …
#13 tips on how to lose control during sex (for people who struggle to let go)
Reading Time: 3 minutes It can be incredibly difficult to feel completely relaxed when having sex. Whether that’s because of distracting thoughts or fear of judgement from our partners, actually being ourselves and feeling free in bed seems almost impossible. Below are 10 tried and tested ways to help you feel more relaxed and …
#11 ways to spark desire when your body feels numb and disconnected
Reading Time: 4 minutes Sex is all about sensation. But for many of us it’s common to feel disconnected from your body, and numb to touch or feeling. This can shut down your potential to experience pleasure and desire, yet it’s something we don’t often talk about! Modern life encourages us to stay inside …
What’s stopping you from speaking out in bed?
Reading Time: 2 minutes If you are totally RUBBISH at talking dirty. Like this kind of level of awkward: Then you’re not alone. So many of us find it tough to “talk dirty”- which basically just means telling our partner what we like/ feels good for us in bed, AKA asking for what we …
The dark side of desire: why we should be cautious telling women with a low libido to schedule in sex.
Reading Time: 5 minutes From my experiences, scheduling sex isn’t always the best advice to give to women with a low libido, or women with responsive desire. Here’s why…
7 ways to kick-start desire by using your imagination
Reading Time: 3 minutes Esther Perel believes that what distinguishes humans from animals during sex is that humans have a capacity for eroticism. This is created through imagination. So a decreased desire for sex could be linked to a decrease in the use of your imagination. What is the link between imagination and desire? Strangely, the word …
How to find out what turns you on, when you have no clue where to start…
Reading Time: 2 minutes Do you *really* know what turns you on? If you do know, you’re one step ahead of me. I felt totally vanilla, totally idiotic, totally numb on this part. Because, if you’d have asked me to describe my fantasy or what turns me on to you a few months ago, …
#5 ways belly dancing will fire up your sex drive
Reading Time: 3 minutes Belly dance originates from the Middle East and is (traditionally) performed to Arabic music. A dance for women and performed at celebrations or social gatherings, it involves isolating parts of the body to create undulating movements that are memorising to watch. Many of us recognise the shimmies, the weaving fingers, …
Here’s why seduction is key to a better sex drive….
Reading Time: 3 minutes “For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.” ― Isabel Allende, Of Love and Shadows For the benefit of the people at the back I present to you exhibit A in the case of the …