Reading Time: 5 minutes There are many things that can close down a woman’s sex drive, but one of the MOST common factors (but not often spoken about) is because there is a barrier to her accessing and expressing her sexual self. This might feel like not only low (or no) desire for sex with a …
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Sexual self-empowerment
Try a “pussy massage” when you want to connect but don’t feel like sex….
Reading Time: 2 minutes Layla Martin, an acclaimed sexuality coach and tantra expert, calls the pussy massage a way to experience “exquisite pleasure and healing”. Before you go to running to the hills at the sound of tantra and pussies and voodoo, give this particular exercise a chance because it can do wonders for …
Cheat your way to a great sex drive by scheduling in time to *think* about sex
Reading Time: 3 minutes A low libido often means that we can almost completely stop thinking about sex (as well as experience a diminished desire to have it!). And for many of us, these thoughts aren’t suddenly going to fall from the sky, or turn up behind the sofa along with some loose change and …
#8 tips to rewire your mind and feel sexually alive again
Reading Time: 3 minutes Esther Perel tells us sex isn’t something you do- it’s a place you go. She calls the ability to do this eroticism. This is the major difference between us and animals- that we can experience the erotic, which is “sexuality transformed by the human imagination”. Our minds therefore create the experience …
#13 tips on how to lose control during sex (for people who struggle to let go)
Reading Time: 8 minutes “In sex, you need to let yourself go… to the point of foolishness”- Sexology (film) Sex is about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Surrendering, and releasing control. Being pleasured and finding pleasure. About having tousled hair, wild eyes and an open heart. And yet, losing ourselves within sex can be …
#11 ways to spark desire when your body feels numb and disconnected
Reading Time: 4 minutes Sex is all about sensation. But for many of us it’s common to feel disconnected from your body, and numb to touch or feeling. This can shut down your potential to experience pleasure and desire, yet it’s something we don’t often talk about! Modern life encourages us to stay inside …
7 ways to kick-start desire by using your imagination
Reading Time: 3 minutes Esther Perel believes that what distinguishes humans from animals during sex is that humans have a capacity for eroticism. This is created through imagination. So a decreased desire for sex could be linked to a decrease in the use of your imagination. What is the link between imagination and desire? Strangely, the word …
How to find out what turns you on, when you have no clue where to start…
Reading Time: 3 minutes Do you *really* know what turns you on? If you do know, you’re one step ahead of me. I felt totally vanilla, totally idiotic, totally numb on this part. Because, if you’d have asked me to describe my fantasy or what turns me on to you a few months ago, …
#5 ways belly dancing will fire up your sex drive
Reading Time: 3 minutes Belly dance originates from the Middle East and is (traditionally) performed to Arabic music. A dance for women and performed at celebrations or social gatherings, it involves isolating parts of the body to create undulating movements that are memorising to watch. Many of us recognise the shimmies, the weaving fingers, …
Have you read this game-changing book about female sexuality?
Reading Time: 3 minutes *Note: this post contains affiliate links, so if you purchase anything you click on I might get a few pennies to say cheers* I came across this book online after my frantic googling of “help, I’m not bothered about sex”, and ordered it from Amazon with the hope that something …
No more”star-fishing” in bed- start doing this instead
Reading Time: 3 minutes Do you know what a starfish is? No, I don’t mean this inoffensive sea creature: I mean the term “starfish” to refer to a woman in bed. What is a “sexual starfish” Starfishing is a derogatory term for women that are still or unmoving during sex. The Urban Dictionary definition …
Here’s why chucking out your old, holey knickers can improve your sex drive!
Reading Time: 3 minutes We’ve all got them. The lurkers at the back of our closets. The last-to-be-picked, laundry day style, whip it out when you’ve got nothing else type of things. I’m talking about bad pants. You know what I mean. The comfort pants. The period pants with suspect stains on them. The …
What does it mean to be “aroused”, and the link between arousal and desire
Reading Time: 4 minutes So, this blog post is on arousal. You might know by now that for some women desire for sex may come *after* arousal (if you didn’t know this, read this post here). Therefore, knowing what arousal is, and the physical sensations and changes that happen to our bodies, is crucial for …
5 TV shows that’ll give you the fanny gallops
Reading Time: 2 minutes A brilliant way to get sex back on your agenda when you have a low sex drive is to watch a TV show featuring lots of, you guessed it, sex. That’ll revive your vagina in no time, because it’s encouraging you to remember sex- to keep it on your radar, …
You’re not broken: here’s why we need to change the language about having a “low sex drive”
Reading Time: 2 minutes Step one of embarking on a journey to find your sex drive is to consider whether it’s really lost. A personal story of mine is pretty relevant here. I was talking with my boyfriend recently, and I kept saying I’d “lost” my desire to have sex, and I needed to …