Reading Time: 3 minutes Esther Perel tells us sex isn’t something you do- it’s a place you go. She calls the ability to do this eroticism. This is the major difference between us and animals- that we can experience the erotic, which is “sexuality transformed by the human imagination”. Our minds therefore create the experience …
#13 tips on how to lose control during sex (for people who struggle to let go)
Reading Time: 8 minutes “In sex, you need to let yourself go… to the point of foolishness”- Sexology (film) Sex is about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Surrendering, and releasing control. Being pleasured and finding pleasure. About having tousled hair, wild eyes and an open heart. And yet, losing ourselves within sex can be …
#11 ways to spark desire when your body feels numb and disconnected
Reading Time: 4 minutes Sex is all about sensation. But for many of us it’s common to feel disconnected from your body, and numb to touch or feeling. This can shut down your potential to experience pleasure and desire, yet it’s something we don’t often talk about! Modern life encourages us to stay inside …
The dark side of desire: why we should be cautious telling women with a low libido to schedule in sex.
Reading Time: 5 minutes From my experiences, scheduling sex isn’t always the best advice to give to women with a low libido, or women with responsive desire. Here’s why…
7 ways to kick-start desire by using your imagination
Reading Time: 3 minutes Esther Perel believes that what distinguishes humans from animals during sex is that humans have a capacity for eroticism. This is created through imagination. So a decreased desire for sex could be linked to a decrease in the use of your imagination. What is the link between imagination and desire? Strangely, the word …
How to find out what turns you on, when you have no clue where to start…
Reading Time: 3 minutes Do you *really* know what turns you on? If you do know, you’re one step ahead of me. I felt totally vanilla, totally idiotic, totally numb on this part. Because, if you’d have asked me to describe my fantasy or what turns me on to you a few months ago, …
#5 ways belly dancing will fire up your sex drive
Reading Time: 3 minutes Belly dance originates from the Middle East and is (traditionally) performed to Arabic music. A dance for women and performed at celebrations or social gatherings, it involves isolating parts of the body to create undulating movements that are memorising to watch. Many of us recognise the shimmies, the weaving fingers, …
Here’s why seduction is key to a better sex drive….
Reading Time: 3 minutes “For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.” ― Isabel Allende, Of Love and Shadows For the benefit of the people at the back I present to you exhibit A in the case of the …
Could a “sex ban” improve your sex drive?
Reading Time: 4 minutes If we don’t fancy having sex, it can get to the point where it’s “a big deal”. Up until now, sex has either meant rejecting your partner, or giving in to sex that you may not really want to keep them happy. So we start to avoid situations where we …
Have you read this game-changing book about female sexuality?
Reading Time: 3 minutes *Note: this post contains affiliate links, so if you purchase anything you click on I might get a few pennies to say cheers* I came across this book online after my frantic googling of “help, I’m not bothered about sex”, and ordered it from Amazon with the hope that something …
No more”star-fishing” in bed- start doing this instead
Reading Time: 3 minutes Do you know what a starfish is? No, I don’t mean this inoffensive sea creature: I mean the term “starfish” to refer to a woman in bed. What is a “sexual starfish” Starfishing is a derogatory term for women that are still or unmoving during sex. The Urban Dictionary definition …
5 tips on how to talk to your partner about a mismatch in desire
Reading Time: 4 minutes If you’re reading this post, it’s likely that you’ve already communicated with your partner in some way about a mismatch in desire. How did you handle it? Hopefully maturely, sensibly, and with lots of communication. If you’re anything like me, however, it will have gone terribly- crying, silence, denial, anger, …
A snog everyday keeps the (sex) doctor away
Reading Time: 2 minutes When was the last time you kissed your partner? I mean a full on, passionate snog like there’s no tomorrow? I’ll wager that it’s not recently, or frequency. Do you remember the last time you kissed just for kissings sake? To explore each other, to caress, for pleasure. I’ll be …
Here’s why chucking out your old, holey knickers can improve your sex drive!
Reading Time: 3 minutes We’ve all got them. The lurkers at the back of our closets. The last-to-be-picked, laundry day style, whip it out when you’ve got nothing else type of things. I’m talking about bad pants. You know what I mean. The comfort pants. The period pants with suspect stains on them. The …
What does it mean to be “aroused”, and the link between arousal and desire
Reading Time: 4 minutes So, this blog post is on arousal. You might know by now that for some women desire for sex may come *after* arousal (if you didn’t know this, read this post here). Therefore, knowing what arousal is, and the physical sensations and changes that happen to our bodies, is crucial for …