We are proud of our approach towards female desire because we believe it sets us apart from so many other sites about increasing libido.
So, here’s who we are and the core values that guide us around sex, sexuality and desire…
Our Values and Philosophy
The first thing we want to come straight out with is that we believe that our sex drives ebb and flow in response to what’s going on in our lives
It is totally normal to not want sex– whether that’s temporary, or on a longer term basis.
Some women are asexual, demi-sexual, or just A-OK with having no or low desire- and there’s NO JUDGEMENT there from us!
We believe in women defining sexual pleasure and satisfaction on their own terms- and whether they’re having tons of sex (or none) their sexual satisfaction is all that matters.
It is also important to us to come from a FEMINIST PERSPECTIVE.
A lack of desire is often so medicalised and individualised that many women feel there’s something wrong with them if their libido vanishes.
That’s because much of what we’ve been told about desire is wrong. And we’re here to rectify that- through individual awareness raising with women in our sexuality workshops and on our online platform, but also changing the narrative around sex by breaking the silence on female sexuality and through encouraging community based activism.
In this aspect we aim to be INCLUSIVE. This site is aimed at self-identified women/womxn and is inclusive of members of the non-binary and transgender communities. However you identify, you are welcome here. Some of the content may also be useful to men experiencing a low seThis isn’t to say that it doesn’t happen to men because it certainly does!
We also aim to challenge multiple forms of oppression that women experience- e.g. racism, sexism, ableism- and that intersect with their experiences and narratives that surround their own sexuality.
For example. we know that there is so much pressure EVERYWHERE to look a certain way to be sexy because of social beauty standards. So, we promise to do our best to make this an inclusive space. We’ll make every effort to represent all different body shapes, races, ages, abilities and much more!
We’ll try to avoid perpetuating traditional narratives of what is “traditionally sexy” (e.g. pictures of lacy lingerie) and leave it up to YOU what you find sexy.
This site will also ALWAYS have free content because we believe every woman deserves to have great sex.
And finally/most importantly, we take an EMPOWERING approach to sexuality. We believe that all women have the power to have lead a life that is pleasure filled, sexually empowered and sensually vibrant.
We recognise that some women may be seeking out a whole new relationship with her sex drive that she didn’t have before. Others might have found theirs perfectly satisfactory beforehand- they’re just going through a dry spell. You know best what you need.
In love and solidarity,
The Desired State Team