Don’t fancy sex, but not sure why?
You’re not alone.
For four years (four very LONG years) my sex drive vanished too.
It came back periodically (enough for me to vaguely remember a time when I was into it) but more often than not my desire sat gathering dust while I waited for it to drop from the sky- wishing it was some tangible thing I could find like my keys down the back of the sofa.
I had 0 idea on what was causing it, and the information I found online was super unhelpful. Much of it was either:
- medicalised (dysfunction disorders anyone?)
- simplistic (“because of stress”)
- odd (you’re not drinking enough sex coffee or eating enough brocolli)
- or felt kind of scary (see a sex therapist! Take a pink pill!).
I instinctively knew that understanding WHY my desire had faded would be half the battle to getting it back. But I wasn’t sure where to start.
So… I spent the next few years exploring desire to find out what was causing my low sex drive- and how to get it back.
And TBH what I found was pretty amazing!
Among A LOT of other useful stuff, I discovered that…
1. it’s not only really common for women to lose their sex drives (about 40% of women in the UK experience a low sex drive at any one time!)
2. but that in fact it makes sense that lots of us don’t feel in the mood for sex when you look at the lack of understanding around female sexuality and the amount of barriers we face to get in the mindset of getting down!
My journey to reclaim my sexual nature gave me unique tools and insights into desire, female sexuality, and how to revitalise a fading libido- and I’m desperate to share them with you!
It’s taken four years, much trial and error, and countless scouring of resources, but I can finally present to you through this site the most effective knowledge, tools and techniques to get you on your path back to desire.
I want you to know you’re not alone, you’re not broken, and it *is* possible to have incredible, pleasure-filled sex that you *actually* want (dare I say- even look forwards to!), when you want it. .
If you’ve been struggling to feel sexual desire and are aching to reclaim your sex drive, this one’s for you ♥
Did you know that almost EVERYTHING we’re told about female desire is wrong?
And that a “sex drive” in itself doesn’t actually exist?
So the first part of finding your desire is getting a better understanding about the female libido. Discovering the difference between responsive and impulsive desire, sexual brakes and accelerators, and the simple balanced formula needed for increasing desire is the first step towards the sex life you’re after.
Click here to see a collection of recommended resources that can help you on your way (I’ve compiled the best books, podcasts and talks on female desire right at your fingertips).
OR (the better option IMHO) you can sign up for a unique (and completely free) four part course that condenses the hundreds of hours of reading, listening and exploring that I’ve done on desire to bring you an empowering and informative course that explores:
- how your libido *actually* works
- major myths around female sexuality
- what “normal” levels of desire are
- and what’s closing down your desire.
Click below to sign up ♡
One of the things you’ll learn on the Discover Desire course is all about your sexual brakes. These are the factors that close down desire.
It’s completely normal for our desire for sex to go up and down in response to what’s going on in our lives. Sometimes we’ll experience more brakes (e.g. stress, lack of sleep, post-pregnancy, feeling body conscious) and sometimes less.
However it’s important to note that traditionally women experience more brakes than men, hence why low desire is so common for women. And there’s a reason for this- because women’s desire is less understood and their pleasure is less recognised.
And although our brakes are in a sense individual to us, there are TONS of them. And crucially- they often interlink. This is the part that most information about desire doesn’t cover– the sheer number of factors that can impact on your levels of desire (especially as women), and how these brakes work together and impact on each other to mean you’re not in the mood for sex.
And that’s where we come in.
Our resources help you recognise every single brake to look out for, identify how they interlink, and ultimately learn how to release your sexual brakes and feel sexually empowered through your relationship with your desire.
Browse the many articles on our blog detailing the very best ways to rekindle your desire to get you started.
Or click below to find out more about our comprehensive new course “Transform Your Desire” that details all of the tools and techniques that restored my sex drive in a brilliant video course you can take at your own pace.
Find out how to connect to your own sexuality, feel desire coursing back through your body, and curate a sex life you want to come back to over and over again.