Reading Time: 2 minutes

Submitted by anonymous:

My partner and I have been together 9 years so have really had to put some effort in to keeping our sex life exciting and fresh, which up until a year ago we had sussed out.

Then we decided we were going to try for a baby. Suddenly sex isn’t something we do for fun (well sometimes it is) but mainly something we have to do to have a baby, and therein lies the problem.

There’s so much to think about – am I ovulating? If I have sex today will this be useful sperm or is it not going to make a difference? Should I wait for 10 mins before I pee after having sex in case all the useful sperm comes out? Is there a good position to conceive? I also read somewhere that a female orgasm can reduce the chances of conception (which is obviously a load of BS) but all these things race through your mind – constantly.

Sex now isn’t something we do to be intimate with each other, or to please each other or connect – it’s to make a tiny human being to ruin the chances of us ever having uninterrupted sex forever!! So we should really be making the most of it!

We’ve been trying for a year now and still nada (which also has its own issues for us both) and sex is now more than ever something we should do to conceive rather than any actual desire to. Don’t get me wrong – once I get started I’m good to go but it’s sometimes the getting started where we both struggle.

I don’t have any great answer to this unfortunately, just feels good to get it out there. I think I need to reframe how I think about sex now, and try and push the whole conception thing to the back of my mind (easier said than done at times).

What I do know is I love my partner very much, he is super hot and when we do have sex he knows exactly how to get me off and I am forever grateful for that.